Wait patiently and consistently for eye contact.
1. Never socialize. The only place for you when other people are home is your room. Give them their space.
2. Let them know you respect them by leaving notes on their milk insisting you didn’t take any. Do this for their hand soap, towels, and anything that you ever had the opportunity of using but didn’t.
3. Tidy up their rooms when they’re gone.
4. Wait up for them on weekends.
5. Hide.
6. Give them the option of using your toothbrush.
7. Make sure it’s very clear that you know exactly how much peanut butter you have and if anyone uses it, you’ll go CRAZY. Laugh.
8. Laugh whenever you can, especially by yourself or right as someone walks in the room.
9. Be especially energetic in the mornings.
10. Become a common enemy for the other roommates to bond around by stealing a girl’s shirt and wearing it blatantly.
11. Never close the bathroom door completely or stop smiling.
Snotting black 
Psychopathic?… Maybe just a little (specially the “always smiling” bit).
Pyschopathic and normal…just depends on the perspective.
I’m glad I’m past the roommate phase… 🙂
One day I shall be as well. One day. But likely not while I’m living in San Francisco.
I wish I’d had this list 2 months ago…
Should have done it sooner! I could have helped so many people!
Reblogged this on Salim.
I tried number 9, and now I can’t find my cat…
Claim no responsibilities for injuries or missing pets.
You’re funnier than usual. I avoid roomates, too many have tried to steal my thoughts and peanut butter.
oh the roommate stories i could tell…
Please, please do. Great subject.
Haha, brilliant.
Hilarious! And I’m with MJ, your tags had me howling!
I’m glad you noticed them!
After reading this post, I actually think the “Tagged” at the bottom is funniest! Clearly, you are being humorous. I was worried there for one minute. Only one.
I think there might be some truth in there
*maniacal laughter*
Sometimes that’s all it takes….