Tag Archives: men

Where to Find the Man You Think You’re Looking For

Looking for love

Looking for love

Being single is awesome. There’s nothing better than the astronaut-like freedom of living life solo.

That being said, it’s nice to be with someone too. Relationships are the meaty part of life, and it can get boring out there in space without someone to inconvenience you and add layers of complication and richness to your life.

I’ve done some traveling this summer and have seen men of all different stripes and beard sizes. If you’re bold enough to think you know what you want and go out there and get it, I’ve compiled a very incomplete list of the different kinds of men and where you can find them. So when you’re ready to tie yourself down, you know where to get the man you think you’re looking for. Just remember, you probably don’t know exactly what you want. Also, this list is not comprehensive.

Flannel-shirt wearing meat-eaters with loud voices and future possessors of a beer gut: Chicago, Black Mountain (NC), some neighborhoods in Boston, your hometown

Fashion-oriented, well-groomed men with a cultivated taste in books, music and food: New York City, San Francisco (some parts) (Warning: these kinds of men spend too much money)

Men that say they love you and then leave you for someone who is the complete opposite of you: Eastern seaboard

Men who wear camouflage and wolf t-shirts without a sense of irony and carry a rifle in their truck: Asheville, NC

Long-haired hippie types who find no value in bathing, automatically think dirty things are more authentic, and know the location of every coffee shop in a 2 mile radius: Allston/Brighton, Oakland, Brooklyn

Backwards baseball cap wearing men with poorly designed tattoos who would rather blow $60 at a sporting event on hotdogs than go to a museum: everywhere

Thin armed software engineers who are “working on their facial hair” and love puns way too much to be sane: San Francisco and New York City (much smaller population)

Cross fit fanatics that work 70 hour weeks wearing blue dress shirts and khakis and party pretty hard on the weekends: Everywhere, but especially NYC

Men who not only make you laugh but will also laugh at your jokes: anywhere except the financial district of any city. Also, avoid self-righteous places like specialty bookstores and some religious institutions

Gentlemen with wild beards, a penchant for soft leather, country music and drinking whiskey outdoors: Nashville

Gentlemen with wild beards, a penchant for vegan food, bluegrass music and drinking whiskey outdoors: Asheville

The tall, broad-shouldered, kind-hearted, dimple-faced, aw shucks attituded man of your dreams: Your dreams

Human man that you will actually fall for “when you least expect it:” the last place you look

So there you have it – now go out there and get it!

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There is a good man who keeps the pergola

this is the only picture I have of the pergola: it’s the thing above us. 

I do not know his name. He is the pergola keeper.

Right as one enters the metal detectors of the American University in Cairo: Tahrir Campus, there is a lush garden bisected by a 25 yard long pergola lined with wicker chairs and tables. A flower producing plant grows up and over the wooden structure, so the area is shaded and quite lovely to sit in and drink coffee and eat cookie during a break between classes.

All happenings in the pergola occur under the keeper’s careful eye. Every minute or so, a small red or purple flower falls from above only to be picked up seconds later as the keeper whisks by, having espied its descent immediately as it began. He walks with a slight limp and a gentle but determined manner. Should a student appear to need a table, he is at the ready carrying one over before being asked. As soon as the students leave, he rearranges the chairs and tables back to their original shape and waits for the next leaf or flower to fall.

I have never seen anyone so dedicated to the regulation of an outdoor area. I’m sure though he may have been interested in what was going on outside the university walls during the revolution, he wouldn’t dare leave his post for fear of a thick carpet of flowers or other plant debris covering the beloved walkway.

Not much is certain in life; at least we have the pergola keeper. Hell might be raised and the sky might fall, but he will guard his domain forever.

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