Oklahoma has the longest drivable stretch of Rt. 66 in the entire country. I decided to take advantage of it this morning after dropping my sister off at work and stealing/borrowing her car. I had dreams of driving all the way to northern Texas before I had to return, but didn’t even make it out of the second county because things got interesting.
Here’s a play by play of my morning until 9. And it only got more interesting from here, but you’ll have to see the made for TV movie about my life to find out what happened.
6:00 A.M. CST
Dropped my sister off at work. Have her wheels for the day. Will try not to destroy anything.
6:05 A.M. CST
Pulled up to Beverly’s Pancake House. Looks like some waitresses just started their smoke break. Hope I don’t interrupt it by being that 6 A.M. customer.
Beverly’s Pancake House
6:06 A.M. CST
Am definitely that 6 A.M customer and definitely interrupted their smoke break. Tried to apologize for it and the waitress told me not to worry about it, baby. It’s nice to be called baby by an older woman sometimes.
6:46 A.M. CST
Am taking this pancake, this strip of bacon and what’s left of my hashbrowns on the road with me, along with the rest of this book I’m reading, “Lessons from a Desperado Poet.” Time to hit the road. I’m heading to Rt. 66 East.
7:01 A.M. CST
Got turned around somehow. Don’t really know where I’m going but might make more sense to just go on Rt. 66 West since it’s right in front of me.
7:11 A.M. CST
I love everything about what what I’m doing right now. The sun is still rising, the roads are still clear, and I got the entire west of the U.S. in front of me and more diners than I know what to do with. This is awesome.
7:45 A.M. CST
Time to fill up the ‘ol tank with gas. Probably shouldn’t have hopped that curb quite so much. Hope these tires aren’t misaligned now and that my sister doesn’t read this post.
7:58 A.M. CST
Got a coffee from McDonald’s too to seal the deal after taking a piss. Man I can’t help using this country lingo after listening to country jams all morning. Not sure I’m saying them right though. Oh well, ain’t y’all!
8:12 A.M. CST
Saw a sign for Chester’s Party Barn after passing through Piedmont. Looks interesting. I’m going to investigate.
Chester’s Party Barn
8:21 A.M. CST
Still no sign of the party barn but I’m on a dirt road now. There’s no one out here. I like to stop the car on the road and get out and walk around and feel the solitude. More birds than you can shake a wooden spoon at.
8:27 A.M. CST
Where is Chester’s Party Barn? Is this a trap? Am I going to be shot?
8:42 A.M. CST
Found the party barn. Apparently they do comedy shows. Could this be a new venue for me?
8:43 A.M. CST
Realized there’s dirt all over my pants and the back of my sister’s car. I guess this is what all those country songs are talking about. They make it sound fun, but this kind of sucks.
8:53 A.M. CST
Mule!
8:59 A.M. CST
Damn I think I’m lost.
9:10 A.M. CST
Found my way again! Just need to follow the signs in the opposite direction of Chester’s Party Barn. Also, I saw a hawk!
9:23 A.M. CST
Stopped at the McDonald’s again to go to the bathroom. Didn’t buy anything this time, but on account of the dirt on my pants, it looks like I went out into the fields to do a drug deal or have a love tryst in between McDonald’s breaks.
9:32 A.M. CST
Back on Rt. 66 West. We’ll take it just a little longer to see where the adventure goes.
NB: this is not Rt. 66. Just pretty picture.
Snotting black 