New York is changing me. I’m paying more for regular things, getting jaded by the everything that exists here, and being ruder to strangers and kinder to friends.
Just today, I did things I would have thought unfathomable five days ago. Perhaps you want to know what they are? Well you’re in luck, because I outlined them below. You can tell I’m turning into a New Yorker because:
1. Paid three dollars for a regular cup of coffee (it wasn’t even a pour over), and then an hour later paid another three dollars for another regular cup of coffee at the same place. No free refills.
2. Traveled thirty minutes via subway to see a graveyard, only to find the gate closed and the only entrance very far away. So I turned around to walk in a park for twenty minutes before heading back thirty minutes to where I came from. Essentially I trekked for an hour just to see a clump of trees.
3. Ate dinner, then went on a crazed car ride fifteen minutes through traffic across Brooklyn to eat a donut from a place called Dough before it closed at 9. The donut was actually fairly incredible but I’d never traveled so far or so urgently for dessert. But in New York, no desire is too ridiculous to be satisfied.
4. Paid twice as much to have my laundry washed and folded for me. When the woman tried to charge me two bucks extra, I called her out on it and got my two bucks back like a real New Yorker. Then I bought an ice cream sandwich.
5. Wore a tank top.
6. Took a nap sitting up. No time to lay down in New York.
7. Successfully gave directions to two different people. Apparently everyone else also just got into town a couple days ago.
8. Searched on Yelp for coffee shops near me and was like, “Really, only 8 places within four blocks? So I’m pretty much in a coffee desert.”
9. Searched on Yelp for ice cream places near me and was like, “Really, only 7 places within a mile? Only 7 different artisan ice cream places? How the heck am I supposed to choose something if there are no options? I need options, people!”
10. Ran through a warehouse district and remarked on how pleasant it was because there were less people there.
11. Thought about going to Manhattan, then realized it was practically a lifetime away and opted to stay in Brooklyn.
12. Thought about trying out half-shirts and buying a hat.
13. Rolled my eyes at vintage stores in Williamsburg. Those are so overplayed.
14. Think I’m so New York.
You’ve been fully indoctrinated! Isn’t it just charming here?