Lunchable themed restaurant?
San Francisco is a bizarre place. Everyone complains about not having enough money while eating out four times a week and spending $100 each weekend on drugs and alcohol alone. Based on my armchair research, this phenomenon is the result of a large population of parentally wealthy young people, people who are used to a high standard of living but don’t make enough money to support it. For that reason, they save nothing, spend 50% of their income on housing and the other 50% on going out.
These yuppsters demand tasty, childhood-nostalgic food, leading to eateries such as a restaurant that only sells macaroni and cheese, one that specializes in carnival-inspired food, and a pirate-themed bar, concepts that children ages 5-12 would also enjoy. As a money-making scheme, I briefly considered getting kid’s opinions on restaurant concepts and then stealing them, but instead I opted to imagine what a 9-year-old would think and forgo frequenting playgrounds where I would undoubtedly raise parental suspicions while conducting interviews.
Note: If there is anyone out there who is inspired by these ideas and wants to take them on, please shove it because they are mine.
1. Slime: At this restaurant, not only are there a variety of slime-inspired food items like Slimey Cornish Game Hen and Slime Shroom Soup, but every patron enters the restaurant knowing that he or she has the chance of being slimed for no extra charge. Showers provided at the YMCA down the street for a nickle.
2. It’s your birthday!: The hostess chooses one birthday boy or girl out of each party. The birthday person wears a funny hat, commands the conversation with pre-chosen discussion topics, orders his or her favorite foods for everyone in the group, and gets to blow out as many candles as he or she wants on the cake. Due to San Francisco law, no singing is allowed.
3. Candyland: All food items are made solely from candy, with dishes such as Flambeed Heart of Reese’s on a Bed of Twizzlers Scented with Hershey’s Syrup, or Braised Lindt Truffles Smothered in Peanut Butter and Topped with M&Ms. For beverages, only milk, hot chocolate, Bailey’s and their combinations are offered. Insulin provided upon request.
4. Outerspace: Featuring space ice cream and all the weird, dehydrated, astronuat food that has been turned delicious using the magic of science. For an extra fee, groups can reserve an actual space shuttle and go to Oakland!
5. Camp Swampy: Everyone’s camp favorites such as fish sticks, mashed potatoes, biscuits and gravy, meatloaf, and French fries done up all fancy like and served to you by a staff that still doesn’t care. Truffle oil on everything! Sole sticks! Gravy with hand-made sage sausage from a pig named Phillip! Coolaid made with top shelf rum!
6. Eve: Formed around the holiday of Christmas Eve, this restaurant is open to people of all spiritual backgrounds, because presents are more important than religion. Not only does the restaurant serve up some of the most indulgent holiday treats, but for a fee, everyone has the chance to open one present! Enjoy the holiday atmosphere but watch out for Santa—he might slime you or take your wallet!
Anyone have any other ideas for high-end restaurant concepts inspired by children? What do real children think?
Snotting black 
Reblogged this on Fiona's favorites for humans and commented:
Now I never have to grow up!!!
Campfire: where you make your own food over open flame. The ocasional bear would pop out from time to time and steal your food.
I love it. Let’s do it. Nothing besides smores and wood chips for desert.
Duck Hunt: The Restaurant. It’s like those places where you get to pick the lobster you’re going to eat, but you shoot various food items out of the air. Or maybe just a restaurant that’s inside of a toy store (or did IKEA already do that?).
What about a restaurant that was an IKEA store—–you could eat at the different tables and stuff.
You had me at Candyland. I can’t even think of anything else.
I’m craving candy as we speak.
I agree with the above, old school video game themes.
We should start a kickstarter campaign to raise enough money and make this happen.
I love these ideas! So imaginative and fun with a bit of cray! As a child I loved animals, and as an adult I still do. I think of the Cat cafe in Soeul, South Korea, and the many other bunny / cat cafes in Japan. Good thing they don’t have one here in Grenoble, I would be there all the time…
Restaurant ideas… you know, they have a restaurant in NYC called S’MAC .. it has all sorts of Mac n’ Cheeses.. and also, in the West Village, there’s a restaurant various versions of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches… Pretty awesome. Child-like, but mostly catering towards adults (and NYU students).
I can’t think of anything that tops your visions!
It’s that student population crowd. They were nurtured too much and now they can’t get over childhood. At least, that’s what I think.
My son says free toy and transporter resurtant where the dessert first (chocolate moose) and then burgers and fries for the end of the meal.
haha classic.
Kids are too cute
I’m liking the Candyland idea! I’m thinking some Super Mario Bros. themed Italian restaurant might go over well – it might be a little too old school for kids these days though… Unless you include go-carts. Everyone likes go-carts!!
Any kind of themed seating is a good idea I think.