Faces blurred to protect identity. Photo credit: Jen Dillender
Hey blog,
How’s it going? Did you hear my sister finally got married?! The wedding was stereotypically beautiful and all that crap. I should have stolen her wedding presents while I had the chance. Now I’m going to Colorado and then San Francisco and who knows when I’ll be back to use her new ice cream maker and name-brand kitchen ware.
I got blood on my bridesmaid dress. I’m pretty sure it was my own. It’s okay because I sucked it out—turns out saliva works pretty well on fresh blood stains. I’ll tell you how it happened later.
My stress-ear cleaning needs to stop. I gave myself another ear infection, but this time it’s on the other side. I sure hope these pills I found help. Do you crave human blood too?
Sorry I haven’t had time for you lately and won’t be around for the next week. It’s not because I don’t love you. I really do, but you see, sometimes I have to go places and hang out with family and be outdoors. You know I’d rather be spending that time with you in a cave, but other people just don’t understand me the way you do.
I’ll always be yours, and you”ll always be mine.
Love,
Emily
Snotting black 
Hey no need to apologize. Everyone goes through that phase once (and some people more often). Of course there are super-bloggers whose blogs never miss an update.. But as I said, they are the super-bloggers (or more probably, able to afford ghost-writers).
And I am not one of those—my motivation does indeed waver, like that of most humans. My schedule does as well but that’s just because I’m a good-for-nothing.
weird and wonderful
It’s a fine balance.
Where is the video? U said sum time back u are going to make a video. Or i read wrong? Congrats on the award.
I have no recollection of this..there is a video that I’ve been waiting to release to the world but I don’t know if the public is ready.
I am not the only one with an odd relationship with my Q-Tip swabs?
No you’re not! I just can’t buy them for myself anymore.
Oh, be still my heart! So glad you survived the wedding! and don’t get blood on anything else!
I’ll try not to, but I’m not making any promises.
Your sister and her new husband were made for each other; they both have indistinguishable facial features. Also, curious: what are you using to clean your ears?
Q-tips…which you’re not supposed to use, at least as far deep as I go down. I just can’t buy them for myself anymore.
So Sweet ! I think I’ll go to the bathroom to some alone time now.
Have fun, for true.
No better place to be alone than on the john.
sob … I am so touched … and now I need a tissue
I need one too but only to dab off this blood.
lol … proof you are a vampire they cry blood
Your sister appears to have a smudge for a face. You might want to look in to that.
They say it’s not contagious, but I’m not so certain.
Enjoy your vacation!
I did! I climbed a mountain and it was awesome!
Sweet!
No critique of the wedding guests? How did your speech go? How was the music? These are only a few essential questions your loyal followers have.
Okay okay okay I’ll consider doing another post on the wedding itself, even as it recedes into distant memory. I will tell you that the speech was well received and that the wedding guests were too polite.
What??? This is what we get? I’m sure blog is as let down as dear readers, if this is the ‘Wedding Report’. Poor blog has had to support all the angst and pissing & moaning about THE WEDDING… and now gets ‘sucking blood out of a bridesmaid’s dress’. Yes, saliva does wonders. After you are done fighting the wildfires, let us know how you like The City By The Bay.
I think it’s actually quite a poetic ending to the wedding journey–much planning for only one day of action. However, I might talk about the wedding more in the future. Most things went just fine so it’s not terribly interesting. I fought off all the wildfires and am now making it in the city by the bay. As a general rule, it’s less exciting and more angsty than it sounds.
I so know how you feel! Hope to hear more about the speech you were going to deliver 🙂
I also would like to nominate you for (yet another) award. Check http://pleunblog.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/my-very-first-award/ for the details.
Enjoy your time outside the cave, but come back soon 🙂
Thanks for the award! I really appreciate it—I’ll do my best to talk about the speech in a future blog post, but like most tests you just want to forget it after it’s over.