BREAKING NEWS: Fox News Found Playing at San Francisco Cafe

Fox News at a Cafe in San FranciscoSAN FRANCISCO, CA — It was just another sunny Sunday morning in the Inner Sunset district of San Francisco. Parents were out walking their children and their dogs on the way to wait in line at breakfast places while the merchants of the local farmer’s market were displaying their produce and engaging with potential customers.

In the cafes, baristas prepared morning brews for a hungover or elderly clientele and the world rested and rejoiced in the last day of the weekend. Everything seemed right in the world. Birds flew, leaves rustled in the wind, and internet flowed endlessly to mobile devices.

But unbeknownst to the outside world, a cataclysmic clash of paradigms was occurring inside one humble San Francisco cafe, Cafe la Flore. Someone in this daring establishment had chosen to eschew cultural norms, and instead of CNN or MSNBC on the flatscreen,  this cultural deviant put on Fox news.

Yes indeed, Fox news was the choice of this humble cafe, the channel that has been called by locals a conservative propaganda machine, the opiate of barbaric and uneducated rubes, and in one case, the mouth of Sauron himself.

The very name evokes scoffing or even disdain from the average San Franciscan, who has never watched the channel except when there happened to be clips from it on The Colbert Report or The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The gluten-free, vegetarian, and meat-loving liberal hordes dursn’t set eyes on the accursed channel lest their rational minds be perverted by the conservative backwash spewing from the two tongued mouths of Fox News robber barons.

Yet, in the face of this considerable cultural discrimination, some brave and likely isolated soul has hissed into the face of the liberal majority, defying them with a quiet yet potent act of subversion.

The world outside this cafe continues on, oblivious to the astonishing and all-together unforgettable political tension here in Cafe La Flore, but I and the man next to me both know the significance of this day. Though we shall never speak of it, we will always remember Sunday, March 10th, 2013: the day the world stood still inside the cafe and thought about political biases.

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15 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS: Fox News Found Playing at San Francisco Cafe

  1. mcdeltat says:

    I find myself watching it sometimes; it is amusing the things they put forth until it starts to boil my blood.

  2. justincaynon says:

    I think it got left there by those poeple who put it on all those unreachable TVs in Jiffy Lubes.

  3. Loved the humour. V funny. And I’m not even on the same side of the ocean!
    Catch up soon,

  4. rolark says:

    I think I found another blog to follow…thanks for all the humor, and may someone send you long underwear (harking back to your older post…) 😉

  5. TheZingR says:

    I laughed myself off a chair just by reading the post title. Hahahahaha!
    As someone who moved to SF from Texas (still the South, even if it does do its thing), I got a second wave of laughter from thinking about how this post would work beautifully for MSNBC in The Woodlands, TX. Thanks for the post!

    • edrevets says:

      Hahaha yes! It’s always fun to find people from the center of the states out here and commiserate about the cultural differences. Maybe we’ll run into each other!

  6. elenamusic says:

    LOL!!! WHAT??? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN! Haha, love it! I love the photographic evidence too, because if no one watches Fox in San Francisco… does it exist?

  7. tomwisk says:

    Em, this will pass. Don’t overreact there are fools all over the place. suffer them and chuckle at their ignorance..

  8. tom says:

    Did anybody die from shock?

  9. paisstat says:

    Wow, nice to see some tolerance of thought existing in that sea of rainbow fascism!

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