Your Life Coach Recommends Biscuits from the Pork Store Cafe

The Pork Store Cafe on Haight

The Pork Store Cafe on Haight

On Friday March 8th, the last day of the work week and the first day of what was then the rest of my life, I went to breakfast at the Pork Store Cafe.

My alarm that morning woke me in a spiteful way, right in the middle of a sleep cycle. For a moment, I debated whether or not it was worth it and that maybe I should just get a morning breakfast on Saturday. But my strength rallied and I finally got up. The instant my tennies hit the pavement I knew I’d made the right decision. Even better, I felt the breakfast hunger.

I arrived to the Pork Store Cafe at approximately 7:03 am, and about 15 minutes later, some of the most tempting breakfast food was steaming in front of me like a freaking holiday feast. I ordered the two eggs in a tasty nest, which consisted of two eggs over easy gently laid across the most deletable mixture of hashbrowns, peppers, onions, cheddar cheese, and a wild amount of bacon. You’re probably already salivating and I haven’t even gotten to the best part.

When I first walked in the door, I overheard a conversation between the waitress and a certain gentleman who was interested in purchasing biscuits but was being told that they would be another 15 minutes before they came out of the oven. Let me repeat that for those of you who are slow to understand the most important part of stories. He was waiting for a PAN OF PIPING HOT, FLUFFY AS HELL, FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN, HEAVEN BISCUITS.

Of course I had to have them. Lucky for me, a side of these biscuits was included with my meal. They came out slightly after I got the tasty nest due to the fact they were still being incubated by their oven mother, but I didn’t care about their tardiness. When I saw them, I became a believer in love at first sight.

I gently pulled them open in order to prepare them with butter and nearly fainted when I saw the amount of steam that Pork Store Cafe Biscuitscame off of them. The pats of butter melted with love and grace, and I took my first bite. It was one of those experiences when all I wanted at that moment was to be wrapped up in that biscuit for eternity, to have it surround me forever in an eternal embrace of fluffy goodness. I began to wax poetic about them in my mind, “A biscuit as textured and embracing as the hills of San Francisco, a biscuit as tender as a good mother’s love, a biscuit as fluffy as a middle school crush.”

I left that morning inspired, and vowed to never, ever skip Friday breakfasts again. And the biscuits. Sweet Mary mother of God, the biscuits. With the taste of those dear lambs, I believe I fleshed out a little more of my life’s purpose. I suggest you do the same.

This post is part of my general obsession with breakfast, breakfast foods, and the holistic experience that encompasses breakfast. If you want to munch on more of this topic, see I am the Breakfast Whisperer, Oh My God It’s Breakfast in Istanbul, and The Oatmeal that Changed My Life.

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9 thoughts on “Your Life Coach Recommends Biscuits from the Pork Store Cafe

  1. […] *** If you want to read more about how much I love breakfast, check out these posts: Oh My God, It’s Breakfast in Istanbul, I am the Breakfast Whisperer, Your Life Coach Recommends Biscuits from Pork Store Cafe […]

  2. lljostes says:

    I think I “fleshed out” a bit more by just reading your blog dear niece. Nice piece of mouth watering writing!

  3. tomwisk says:

    Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It’s the first chance to set out a plan for the day.

  4. […] dished by one of my favorite writers on her blog: “Snotting Black.”  This morning’s title: YOUR LIFE COACH RECOMMENDS BISCUITS FROM THE PORK STORE CAFÉ.  I quickly opened the link to her page and began devouring every word, hoping to take me far away […]

  5. It was 4:30 in the morning and I was rudely awakened by the violent barking of a pack of three Schnauzers being walked by their owner outside my bedroom window. I had forgotten to set my 4:15 alarm the night before so I had over slept, but being awaken by the heart pounding startle of barking dogs was not my idea of a good way to start one’s morning.

    A quick shave and I was off to the gym. I had a USGBC meeting to attend, across town at 7:00 am so my workout plan for the day was to complete one hour on the rowing machine, about 7 miles, and be back home by 6:00 to shower, dress and leave the hose by 6:45. I was already running late but I was determined to complete my allotted rowing distance.

    Back home by 6:20, I remove my running shoes along with my sweat saturated shorts and shirt, to sep on the scale. I was pleased with the 173 lb digital reading and 21% body fat. It had taken me six months to reach this point, down from 200 lbs and 30% body fat back in June of 2011, and at the young age of 57 I now feel better than I have in the last ten years.

    I was late to my meeting but managed to get a plate of fruit and some scrambled eggs for protein to rejuvenate my body. As I sat down to the table, the morning speaker began his presentation. It was quite boring, a forty-minute self serving talk about him, his company and how great they are at performing their work.

    Not compelled to listen any longer, I pulled out my Smartphone and to scan my e-mails. And there it was, exactly what I needed, another dose of humorous reality dished by one of my favorite writers on her blog: “Snotting Black.” This morning’s title: YOUR LIFE COACH RECOMMENDS BISCUITS FROM THE PORK STORE CAFÉ. I quickly opened the link to her page and began devouring every word, hoping to take me far away from the drone of the morning speaker. She opened her story about her alarm clock wake-up call then quickly moved on to her delicious topic of morning breakfast. However, as I read on I could feel the osmotic effect of calories being fed into my body with every word. As if the Pork Store Cafe was not cholesterol sounding enough, she kept piling on the fat with a dish called the “Tasty Nest,” which consisted of two eggs over easy gently laid across the most delectable mixture of hash browns, peppers, onions, cheddar cheese, and a wild amount of bacon. As if that was not bad enough, she drooled all over her page about the ”…PAN OF PIPING HOT, FLUFFY AS HELL, FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN, HEAVEN BISCUITS…” with “…pats of butter melted with love and grace…”

    After reading this morning’s epic I could feel my once loose and baggy slacks suddenly tighten as if my waist had been instantly inflated like you might see happen to a cartoon character. I must be off to work, perhaps I will walk this morning.

Snot Back

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