The Internet Doesn’t Need Me


A couple of days ago I moved into a less horrifyingly-dirty apartment, which is great. Unfortunately, there is no internet due to a freak accident. The good news is that we’re having a dude or ma’am come pour us some more on Saturday, but the bad news is that they’re coming on Saturday, not now.

I’ve been hooked on the internet ever since Mom took the sisters and me to the library so we could play Neopets for hours on end, pissing off people who were trying to look for jobs and/or porn. Just like many others from the I-Can’t-Complain-But-I-Still-Do generation, attachment to the internet characterizes my hyper-socialized existence. Smart phones are whipped out at every chance, email and facebook checked as routinely as blinking, and barrages of tweets barrel down our throats every other second. Much of what I call “work,” I do from my computer, and using the internet is my only hobby.

Living without the internet, albeit for only a couple of days, has forced me to adapt to what I used to believe was an untenable situation, and I’ve come to a startling conclusion, one that has rocked me to the core and that I can’t wait to forget.

The internet doesn’t need me.

Through my forced detachment, I found that because of the massive amounts of time I spend communicating and throwing tweets out there and cultivating facebook for notifications, I came to believe that people needed me to be out there talking to them, that things would go horribly awry if I weren’t there, that #searchingforemily would start trending if I hadn’t tweeted in x amount of hours, that my emails would pile up and every employer I ever contacted would get back to me and demand a response within an hour and then give up when I was incommunicado.

What I did find was a different situation altogether. When I made it to a café yesterday at 8:15 AM, eager to see what kinds of crucial communication I had missed, I found that not much had happened.  I had one personal email to respond to. Suddenly, I realized that I didn’t need the internet attached at the bellybutton in order to maintain relationships with people I loved, and that for the most part, things go on without me pretty well out there on the web. Most importantly, I learned that more internet does not mean better internet. It means more aimless wandering, the endless searching for the next shock or haha.

Will I take these lessons and make them a part of my life when internet does come home roost forever, or will I greet it and kiss it on both cheeks and say welcome dear one  I have missed you let us never be parted again? I think we all know the answer to that question. Things will probably go back to normal and I will waste time and not get enough done. But at least I know that I’m the only one that really cares.

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12 thoughts on “The Internet Doesn’t Need Me

  1. amber lewis says:

    I’m glad you got a chance to take a break from the internet. When it’s planned it can actually be quite enjoyable. I recommend trying it sometime. 🙂

  2. artzent says:

    I hope that you come back. We would sure all miss your humor. We need you to help us laugh at lifes slings and arrows!

  3. To be fair, a lot of the time I use my phone for maps and photos. Sure I live on a big island but it’s really stuffed tight with people and buildings. So why not take pics when I have no idea where I am…

  4. Archon's Den says:

    Welcome back to the universe of the techno-luddites.

  5. Anthony says:

    That is the problem of today. The techi era. One has to be connected like in 24/7. Even kids are born today with the ability to operate a smartphone.

  6. Katherine says:

    I went through a similar realisation a few months ago when I moved into my new, internet-less, apartment. I was shocked to find I was defriended on Facebook, and unfollowed on Twitter and Instagram. Really people? Just because I’m not on 24/7 doesnt mean I dont exist. But obviously you only matter if you are on all day. And if you take a break to get outside and actually live, well the internet assumed you’ve died.

  7. Jan Simson says:

    This is seriously awesome. Sometimes I can go without the Internet for weeks and return to find one or two Facebook messages that are no longer than “hi lol” or something of the sort. Cheers.

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