I will get a baboon fang.
At 20:45 GMT on Wednesday, May 16th, an Egyptair flight left from Cairo, Egypt to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Both of these countries are in Africa, by the way. Why does this matter, you ask? Who’s asking, I ask. I am, you say. Big deal, I say. Well can you just tell me why, you ask? Yes, I say. It matters because yours truly was on that flight, probably.
And I probably landed in Ethiopia at the most comfortable hour of 1:30 am GMT, where I was greeted by a crowd of friendly Ethiopians before riding a giraffe named Dorothy to a flea-free safari lodge where I fell asleep. After hours of delicious slumber, I likely woke up to the most wonderful all-day breakfast spread I have ever seen. I may or may not have spent the whole day in the dining room, finally leaving only when I was forced to because Dorothy was getting impatient and we needed to begin the journey to Lalibela.
That was a paragraph of lies. The one true thing is that I am probably in Ethiopia right now, breathing in the sweet Addis Ababa and/or Lalibela air and counting down the hours to drinking my next coffee. I will be in this country for about a week and have left compy at home, making sure to set out some food and water for it and my blog. No, I will not be blogging during my Ethiopian adventure, but I do plan on harvesting a good crop of blog fodder that I will use for upcoming posts. This trip will be a much needed rotating of the mind crops.
There is a slight chance that I won’t return at all, due to kidnapping by the organized baboon gangs of the Simien mountain or because I will have willingly joined these gangs. I also might be overcome with the Simien madness and feel that I have become “one” with the landscape and refuse to leave, clinging to the neck of the mule that we have rented and annoying the mule handler with my incessant weeping.
But, if everything goes well, I should be coming back next Wednesday with a baboon tooth necklace, as few flea bites as possible, mild digestive problems, and priceless memories.
Expected highlights of the trip are:
1. Not being in Cairo.
2. Seeing churches carved out of the living rock in Lalibela.
3. Using the phrase “living rock” as much as possible.
4. Seeing castles in Gondar.
5. Making countless Lord of the Ring references to Gondor.
6. Trekking in the Simien mountains and seeing baboons.
7. Claiming to see family members in and among the baboon herds: “Mom? Is that you!?”
8. Eating in a country that doesn’t have an endless culinary winter.
It should be a good trip, and I’ll probably write stuff about it when I get back. As usual, it will be fact-poor and reveal very little about what I actually did. See you later!
Snotting black 
That is SUCH a cute picture of you. You’ve really let your hair grow out =P
Thanks so much! I thought it might have been a little too much but now I think it’s just perfect.
I now have the song “I get to be a monkey!” from a Ren and Stimpy episode stuck in my head…Have fun out there!
Oh Ren and Stimpy, one of the most repulsive and yet fascinating shows on television. I’m glad I could remind you of it so that I could be reminded of it. Ethiopia was great and there’s more on it to come!
WOW! Jealous! Ride a lion, throw some feces…in short, have fun!
I came incredibly close to a baboon and even closer to all different kinds of feces. It doesn’t get much more fun than that!
I could dig riding a giraffe, do they come with a step ladder? I hope you don’t have to pull your own teeth for the necklace. Post some cool pictures. Stay safe One of Three.
In order to fully capture the Ethiopian trip, I will be posting more pictures than usual. Your wish is my command. I stayed safe and even enjoyed some peanut butter, so everyone won!
Be careful of those baboons, i here they are a nasty bunch….
From what I saw they mostly like to eat grass and occasionally show off their weird butts. One of them did threaten my boyfriend, but to be fair my boyfriend was smiling and that could have been interpreted as an act of aggression.
Some scary shit
Enjoy your stay – and yes have some coffee!
I did enjoy some good coffee and food in general…..we even brought our leftovers back to Cairo. Nothing like an international doggy bag.
Tried to locate the maker of a special cough drop, in Toronto, called Efaco. The only reference Google gave me was The Egyptian Fabricating Company, just down the twisted narrow street from your room. More strange food and going baboon, that’s the Snotter I’ve come to know and love. Ethiopia = famine. They have food?
What Ethiopia=Famine this is outrageous. You know we are one of the largest african fruit, Vegetable And more Coffee exporters. sorry to say you are running on old 1.0 may be you should update to 2.0
Haha—maybe I drop by the fabricating company and see if they have what you’re looking for? I’ve never snotted so black as I snotted in Ethiopia—that’s the dust from those gravel roads. It didn’t impair my taste buds and yes the food was delicious. More on everything to come…..
Seriously? I’m over here working my ass off and you’re living the life of snotting black? Can we trade places for a year?
Have a blast!
I did I did! Honestly I don’t know how I lucked into being able to do cool things. By all accounts I should still be working at McAlister’s Deli in Oklahoma. But the fun has to end sometime and I’m heading home to job hunt in just 5 days.
Enjoy your visit to an old civilization. Knowing you from past blogs you’ll amaze your audience and probably make in-roads in the field of baboon/human relations. If they’re talking, ask them about key to adapting to a changing environment. We need another view. Enjoy, Em.
I enjoyed indeed. The baboons are some of the strangest creatures I’ve ever seen up close….their eyes are so inscrutable. There was some pretty intense communing and I’ll definitely cover it in upcoming posts.
cant wait for your next post..
You don’t have to wait any longer!
EAT THE FOOD THERE! (as if you could avoid it.) My favorite restaurant in Seattle is Ethiopian. Oh, so good, to my tastes. Wonder how close it is to what you’ll eat…?
FOOD SO GOOD! My boyfriend had some awesome Ethiopian food in L.A. and we even ate stuff that was better than that. Can’t get enough of that Injera.
Why do you think you’ll be getting any flea bites at all?
I just want to be like you. But seriously, some people said that there were fleas there and we did rent sleeping bags that god knows how many people slept in them. But it looks like we came out okay.
I, for one, am jazzed about your vacation. I liked your list, and especially enjoyed your paragraph of lies. Have fun, Emily, I’m sure we’ll be hearing all about it.
Indeed you shall. I gathered up enough blog fodder for an entire month it seems.
Have a fabulous trip – I’m excited to hear more about it when you return! Don’t get malaria or anything. 😉
Came back disease free with only some mild peeling as the result of my own stupidity—but totally worth it for the experience!
Glad to hear it!
Wow this is never expected in 1000 years. Wow in my country by any chance 3 of Ethiopian bloggers would love to invite you for beer. Here is my number 0930015067
NOOOOOOO—–I only saw this just now! I’m already back in Cairo but would have LOVED to go for a beer. We had a wonderful time in Ethiopia and hopefully will be back again! Our favorite beer was Dashen—St. George was okay too. SOOOOO sad that I didn’t see this earlier but thanks for the invite!