Things that Fascinate that Weird Guy at Work

And he seemed so normal.

1. Watching sailboats on the Charles River, their white sails floating above the water as in a dream.

2. The way blood beads on clean incisions.

3. Recording human reactions to his animal noises.

4. The swift transition from joy to despair when he gives children candy and then wrenches it away.

5. Logs rotting.

6. The sheer mass of nails and hair that he’s accumulated over the years, the continual nature of his body’s shedding.

7. Slicing.

8. Yo Yo Ma.

9. The taste of tears, his and others’.

10. Yoghurt smeared over coarse surfaces.

11. Seasonal sweaters.

12. Deception.

13. Fire, its complete and utter destruction, embers glowing in the ash of a ruined life.

14. Jogging.

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37 thoughts on “Things that Fascinate that Weird Guy at Work

  1. Hala J. says:

    Does the weird guy also like to end lists on numbers that are not a multiple of five?

    Because everything on that list is forgivable…BUT NOT THAT. NEVER THAT.

  2. tedstrutz says:

    I would think you would be first on the list.

  3. Um…would that make me the weird one at work?

  4. kelsgonebush says:

    Great post ! This reminds me of Dane Cooks sketch creepy guy at work – its hilarious! , if you haven’t seen it I have posted the link below for you 🙂

    • edrevets says:

      People never mention it, but I know that watching more funny YouTube videos is actually the secret to living one’s best life. Thanks for the link!

      • kelsgonebush says:

        No worries – I used to listen to him on my ipod as I walked to work – I d to get some funny stares as I was walking along laughing out loud ;D

  5. shoes says:

    Umm, I don’t get it… What is weird about him?


  6. I once worked with a woman who would stick the erase side of a pencil in her belly button and then examine it once she’d pull it out.

  7. LOL! The first line of your post kinda shocked me, because I’ve lived near Boston MA for almost my entire life, and I have watched many a sailboat on The Charles River – not necessarily floating above the water, but sailing on it instead, which is the more proper and traditional way it is done around here.
    But after that, there is nothing on your list that is similar to me, and yes I know that you’ll have to take my word for it, but it’s still true. Well, maybe just a few and in very minor ways – like I have noticed logs rotting, but I’d never have the patience to watch them rotting, and there are many other things I’d rather be fascinated with. But now, as I more closely examine this list… okay just WHO are you really? And why are you STALKING me??? And how on earth are you doing it from as far away as Cairo, Egypt? Do you have some weird inter dimensional cross over state of being thing going on? Considering much of the content of what you write, well I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised! Lol 😉

  8. goodoldgirl says:

    Sounds like a real prince among men!?!

  9. Vince Chough says:

    In my best Mr. Spock voice… “Fascinating…”

  10. El Guapo says:

    Yep. Yo Yo Ma and Jogging. Saw this coming a mile away.

  11. Some people find slicing innocents, burning things and stealing candy from children to be weird.
    I just call it a Tuesday.

  12. mikesretirementplan says:

    See, there you go with assumptions. It all depends on what your version of normal is as to how one will react to a given situation. I am sure that somewhere out there, there are those that would consider this list quite ‘normal’ in the everday scheme of things. To me, no.’s 4, 6, and 8 are definite no-no’s, and number 11 is a never never, but that is just me. Try to get me to where a sweater, there is gonna be a fight. Just saying. And for God’s sake, leave the little kids alone. But I do like the rotting logs thingy. Never know what you might find in there.

  13. chyrampsc says:

    The real story here is how you happened to find out about each and every one of these gems.

  14. jensine says:

    I also think the dregs of other peoples coffee could be on that list

  15. Nice! Such an exquisitely random group of fascinations. And poetic too.
    You need to ask him out.

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