1. You forget the pen you were sure you recalled and proceed to not record anything for the entire day except for when you borrow that one guy’s pencil. You even regret doing that because the lead is really light and a pain to write with but you remember that beggars can’t be choosers.
2. You spend a large amount of class time debating whether the classrooms feel most like a coffin, grave, cistern, or well. You decide that the grave motif resonates the most because of how you feel about the course itself and the room’s stark lack of natural light, but ultimately you throw out all your choices and settle on describing it as a morgue: stale and lifeless.
3. After staring at the wall for most of your first class, you rush downstairs when it ends to go to the bathroom/escape. Later on you see the teacher from that class who asks you whether anything is wrong. The prospect of taking classes for the next 4 months in the morgue makes you want to curl up and die but there’s nothing she can do so you keep your mouth shut.
4. On your way into the university, you look at the bottle of water you just purchased and wish it were whiskey. You close your eyes and wish for it to turn into whiskey. When you open them, it is still water, which you drink because you hope will cure your massive headache.
5. Having shivered most of the day, you exit your unheated classroom building and find that the air of the city in which you reside has been rendered brown and unbreathable from dust kicked up by the massive gusts of wind. This would make great stuff for a song about witches coming down chimneys, you think to yourself.
6. The best part of the day was when you learned that your first class might be 15 minutes shorter than originally scheduled. The worst part of the day was when you had to sit through the entire hour and thirty minutes because they hadn’t decided on a time length yet.
7. You’re looking forward to the fact that the only girl’s bathroom is about a 1.5 minute walk away, which will be good for breaks from class over the next four months. If you time it right, you might be able to miss hours of class.
It’s going to be a wonderful semester!
If there weren’t so much unrest there, I’d suggest deploying exploding computer chargers as a way to liven up the boring classes…
that certainly would be a cost-effective way of inducing fun-having.
Ah, school. I actually knew a lot of people in college who would fill their water bottles up with cocktails on bad days. Or good days. Or just days. What-evs.
I’ve always found that days in general are good for cocktails. There was a kid in my high school who did that in a big gulp cup.
Uh oh. Ha ha! Nobody would ever detect all those thoughts going on in your head. Let me know when you perfect the water to whiskey trick! Enjoyed 🙂
Thanks!
I think I might find a biblical solution to the whiskey issue. Jesus did, after all, change water into wine.
Haha, great post. I imagine when I go back to college in September, I will be facing the same sorts of headwrecking obstacles. My favourite one was signing up for a language course a few years ago: I didn’t leave myself enough time so I got there late and there was no parking: no problem, I thought, and threw my car out of the way up on a kerb and ran for class. After a few minutes the instructor started writing random numbers and letters up on the board and I thought ‘hmmm, this is an interesting way to start learning a new language’ only for it to turn out the school is attached to the local police station, they had phoned to report my car illegally parked, and would I please go out and move it before they had it towed… I was so embarrassed I left my pen and paper behind, drove off, and never went back, LOL. Bloody cops, go and catch some robbers or something, and leave us honest students alone!!
http://www.cakesandshakes.wordpress.com
Though we students may be poor and occasionally lazy (speaking for myself, of course), at heart we are simple people who mean no ill will towards others. In fact, there is a small chance that we may actually do society some good.
RE: your story: at least you came out of that awful situation with a great anecdote. Not everyone has left school running from the police.