Buffalo Kisses Smothering My Face

Buffalo Kiss Residue

Friend and I volunteered again today, and by some miracle I was neither starving or exhausted. As a result, I feel like I saw the place for the very first time and realized there are less bats than I thought were there.

As we prepared classroom decorations to create a welcome environment for the little ones, I noticed one of our co-volunteers was wearing a shirt that read “Buffalo Kisses” and had a large picture of luscious, red, glittery lips . Now, this may be a classic case of  “lost-in-transit,” with the intended phrase to be “butterfly kisses.” Or it may just be someone’s ideal description of desirable actions performed by lips.

Regardless of the original intent, I began thinking about buffalo kisses and what they would be like. Then I remembered the Bob Carlisle song called “Butterfly Kisses,”  and was so inspired by the imagery of buffalo kisses that I wrote up some new lyrics to go with the original music.

Buffalo Kisses

There’s few things I know for sure

She came in from pasture

And she’s a untamed beast

As I try to get up and flee her might

She wants to nuzzle and I close my eyes

and I pray that this moment won’t finish my life

Oh I’m terrified

(chorus)

“Cause buffalo kisses smothering my face

Slobberin’ all over me, we’re way past first base

Stinking, heaving, yellow teeth, I’m in hell

I barely keep from vomiting, this won’t end well

Oh whatever did I do to deserve the Big Guy’s spite

and earn  this quadruped’s love

with her buffalo kisses tonight

(verse 2)

Godless, hairy thing

With eyes that look right through me, even though I’m screaming

One part whisker, the other part tongue

there’s no escape, cause it’s one foot long

If she gallops away, I’ll repent of every wrong

I can’t forget

(chorus)

Her buffalo kisses smothering my face

Slobberin’ all over me, we’re way past first base

Stinking, heaving, yellow teeth, I’m in hell

I barely keep from vomiting, this won’t end well

Oh what did I do to deserve the Big Guy’s spite

And earn  this quadruped’s love

With her buffalo kisses tonight

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