Buffalo Kiss Residue
Friend and I volunteered again today, and by some miracle I was neither starving or exhausted. As a result, I feel like I saw the place for the very first time and realized there are less bats than I thought were there.
As we prepared classroom decorations to create a welcome environment for the little ones, I noticed one of our co-volunteers was wearing a shirt that read “Buffalo Kisses” and had a large picture of luscious, red, glittery lips . Now, this may be a classic case of “lost-in-transit,” with the intended phrase to be “butterfly kisses.” Or it may just be someone’s ideal description of desirable actions performed by lips.
Regardless of the original intent, I began thinking about buffalo kisses and what they would be like. Then I remembered the Bob Carlisle song called “Butterfly Kisses,” and was so inspired by the imagery of buffalo kisses that I wrote up some new lyrics to go with the original music.
Buffalo Kisses
There’s few things I know for sure
She came in from pasture
And she’s a untamed beast
As I try to get up and flee her might
She wants to nuzzle and I close my eyes
and I pray that this moment won’t finish my life
Oh I’m terrified
(chorus)
“Cause buffalo kisses smothering my face
Slobberin’ all over me, we’re way past first base
Stinking, heaving, yellow teeth, I’m in hell
I barely keep from vomiting, this won’t end well
Oh whatever did I do to deserve the Big Guy’s spite
and earn this quadruped’s love
with her buffalo kisses tonight
(verse 2)
Godless, hairy thing
With eyes that look right through me, even though I’m screaming
One part whisker, the other part tongue
there’s no escape, cause it’s one foot long
If she gallops away, I’ll repent of every wrong
I can’t forget
(chorus)
Her buffalo kisses smothering my face
Slobberin’ all over me, we’re way past first base
Stinking, heaving, yellow teeth, I’m in hell
I barely keep from vomiting, this won’t end well
Oh what did I do to deserve the Big Guy’s spite
And earn this quadruped’s love
With her buffalo kisses tonight
Snotting black 