Follow These Rules and We’ll Get Along

all the ingredients for a weekend of fun

Some quick guidelines for my colleagues who are about to travel with me to Ain Sukhna:

1) As mentioned on this blog before, my mouth will gape open when I fall asleep, which will happen frequently and regardless of location. As soon as we enter the bus, I will be slain by the sandman. This will happen again in a much more literal fashion once my feet hit the sand of the beach. Feel free to mock me, because ultimately I know that through my slumber I am adding years to my life which I will use to make myself better than all of you.

2) I will drink coffee at five or six o’clock every day. If this does not happen, then I will become belligerent and refuse to speak. If a state of non-coffee continues to prevail, I will proceed to scream without stopping until coffee is brought and the coffee-hunger is assuaged.

3) On the beach, I will cover myself with a large scarf like a shroud. This is because I burn easily. It will look bizarre, but ultimately it’s a better option than making you stare at me with bubbly, oozy, burn skin.

4) My preferred breakfast partner of choice is my computer, which I will not have with me. Please do not interact with me unless you are first interacted with.

We can all have a more pleasant time together if these simple rules are followed, as well as the dozens that I didn’t have time to write down. Please make no mistakes. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Your colleague, who will be back and blogging come Saturday

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