Found: One Bag of Slop, One Hoof


Cairo’s Lost and Found Forum

Items found: bag of slop, hoof

Location: Revolution Street, Mohandiseen, Cairo

Descriptions: 

Bag of slop: A bag of slop has been found in Mohandiseen on a pile of dirt near a street sign. The bag appears to be rapidly disintegrating though the innards are still quite moist and slop-like. As it is in an almost perfect disk shape, the bag is easily distinguished from the other bags of trash nearby carrying solid contents. The mush itself could be either chunky tomato sauce or chunky animal blood and organs, judging by the ooze surrounding the bag. There are two lacerations in the side of the receptacle as well as an empty bag of potato chips resting on top of it.  The exact kind of knot used to seal the bag is unclear, though this could easily be determined upon inquiry and subsequent investigation. Since the slop bag is in easy sight of any passersby, it may be snatched up very soon. The preservation of the slimy innards is also at risk, since the Cairo sun has a tendency to return everything to a dust like state as soon as possible. Anyone looking for their lost bag of goo would be advised to contact me as soon as possible.

Animal hoof/leg: A black animal hoof attached to about a foot of brown, fur covered leg was also found in Mohandiseen near the bag of slop. Its scent can best be described as putrid, and the overall visual effect as nightmarish.  The appendage is likely from a mule or a donkey, though a horse or goat are not completely out of the question. Said animal part was left in a pile of (animal) feces at the base of a lamppost in broad daylight. It is not likely that the appendage itself was originally a part of the excrement. The hoof is also near a leaf and a plastic bag. Rotting did not seem to have progressed very far, though its status likely got exponentially worse as the day wore on. This hoof appears to be a possible source of many diseases and is likely a public health hazard. If you have lost it and would like to reclaim it before it also turns into a pile of goo, please fax me your inquiry as soon as possible.

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2 thoughts on “Found: One Bag of Slop, One Hoof

  1. I may have misplaced that animal hoof in your area.

    If you would be so kind, please bring it back to your apartment and put it in the fridge. I have a few things to do but if you would give me a few weeks I will be happy to pick it up from you.

    If the smell seems to bother you I would recommend a novelty sized clothespin to plug your nose. After the first few days you’ll hardly even notice anything causing the paint to peel off the walls.

    Thanks.

    P.S. – If nobody claims the bag of slop by the time I come to pick up the hoof I will be happy to take it off of your hands. It’s not mine but who can pass up a good bag of slop when the opportunity shows itself?

    • edrevets says:

      Your quick response and the fact it was the only one has ensured the said hoof and bag of slop will be in your possession as soon as your travel plans allow you to pick them up. I do require a finder’s fee, but that can be discussed upon arrival.

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